Hi everyone,
I told you guys from the beginning that my blog would be real and honest with the highs and the lows. Since last year was a year of surviving, fighting for restoration, forgiveness and overcoming. I truly believe that God wanted me to do this journey to come to rest, be a blessing in His peace, to give me new energy and wisdom for my next step of where He wants me to be, to restore even on a deeper soul level. But when I started planning my world trip other battles began. For me it was a sign of walking in my purpose. There is only one that doesn’t want me to walk in God’s promises! So I kept on going and praying for all the things that I was going through.
I went on my mission to Hawaii believing things would get lighter, easier and that I would get more in the promise of a peaceful world trip. But oh wow, it felt like there became even more battles stronger and heavier. Every time that I overcame one the next one was ready to get me down. I hoped it would stay in Hawaii but unfortunately they just followed me to the Cook Islands.
I really didn’t understand why this pattern of non stop fighting and surviving has to be part of my world trip. Don’t get me wrong, I feel so blessed to do this trip, I feel that I’m in the right place where God wants me to be. I feel He uses my testimony, dance and photography for a higher purpose! I’m really thankful for this lifetime opportunity! I had just a different expectation of walking in my purpose when I started this journey.
A few examples what I had to go through.
Hawaii:
Are the moles that has been removed dangerous? Do I need to go home for further treatment? (Thank God everything was okay! And I didn’t need to go home!)
Luggage gone for two weeks
Got painful stabbings. lots of doctors appointments, painful and uncomfortable researches, stressful waiting for test results. They still don’t know what it is.
High medical cost that is not getting paid back by insurance
Freedom ministry was awesome but also something that cost a lot of energy and takes 30 days steps to continue in freedom. It’s also brings spiritual warfare with it.
Flight to cooks was cancelled. Lucky it was quite easily fixed!
Cook island:
got really ill after 3 days. Almost two weeks in bed. Couldn’t do anything but running to the toilet. Feeling much better now but still not completely healed.
Still got the pain at times that started in Hawaii.
Lots of cockroaches here. One was in my bed and freaked me out. Couldn’t sleep the whole night. Have a mosquito net now for protection. Hopefully that helps!
Didn’t have my own transportation the first 3 weeks of my stay.
Cook islands is really expensive! My budget goes fast.
I lost my GoPro in the sea and all the footage that I shot here on the island! Including the awesome videos of the kids from the local school.
My canon camera charger doesn’t work anymore. Have nothing to charge my batteries. I’m almost out of power.
Canon camera got issues again. Doesn’t work properly.
So this is a small list of my battles. It cost a lot of energy to fight them daily. That’s because I feel attacked on a physical level, a mental level but also a material level. I asked God so many times to make it stop and to take it away. I don’t feel like i have the energy to fight even longer. I put on the armour of God everyday but it still feels some days are too heavy.
☎
I called with Wieke, one of my lovely friends from the girl’s connect back home! She prayed for me and encouraged me with this text!
How can you know that God will always help you?
Because you are His royal child.
He has clothed you with royalty.
You are born of Him, who is the great King.
To Him, you are the most precious treasure there is.
He has His eye on you.
He has a royal plan with you.
First He heals and restores your soul, with His love.
Restoration and cleansing is the first step.
Showing you His love.
Forgiving your past and clothing you with
a new worth and identity.
This is a deep process where He leads you to let go of the past and move into the new with Him. The transformation of who you are.
Being born again from His Spirit. Then He will work on your character, to become like He is: righteous, honest, gracious, pure and loving.
He trains you in the circumstances of life, to mold you into His image of love and purity. His goal is to raise you as a ROYAL PRINCE OR PRINCESS, so you will be able to reign with Him.
There are no shortcuts. No easy routes. No quick solutions.
In the fire and the deep waters He shows you His love so you
would learn to trust Him and not lean on your own strength.
Only when your own strength and pride is broken and you fully depend on His Spirit, will His glory become manifest through you. See the trials and troubles as a royal academy of preparation for your royal destiny.
He will never leave you, but He is close by your side.
This is one of the main realities He wants to reveal to you,
through the trials: I am with you!
The more you trust His presence and you live from His presence, the more His glory will flow through you. His goal is not to get you to heaven. His goal is to get heaven inside of you! So heaven can be manifested through you, on the earth.
Gold is refined in the fire. If you are in the fire, it means you are gold. Allow the purification. Learn what He wants to teach you.
Admit and stop wrong behaviour.
Then you come out as pure, shining gold, radiating His glory.
By reading this everything falls into place! It gives me more peace about why these things are happening And that it all will work for my good. It still isn’t easy but I want to succeed and preservere. I asked God multiple times to form and mold me during my trip. i Didn’t know all of this would be coming to fulfill that prayer so be careful what you pray for, haha. I can’t wait to come out of Gold and to trust God in each area of my life. I want to be a truthful follower with my foundation deeply rooted in god.
“It’s an adventurous process with ups and downs!
It’s gonna be a bumpy ride, but He is right there on my side!
♡ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! ♡ ”
